men cartoon slippers

Naked Vinyl Cover Art- Selling Music And Sex Part one When we look back at album cover art throughout the years, it is kind of ironic that some album covers that are released these days can cause such an uproar because they may have a nude image on them or sexual suggestive scenes. But 'naked vinyl' started a long time ago, and, in fact, sold many, many records before it was decided that it is offensive. In this two-part article series, let's explore some of the more interesting facets of 'naked' album cover art and erotica. There is an age-old adage in the marketing world that 'sex sells.' And let's face it, you're more apt to buy a particular product from a curvy supermodel than a housewife with curlers in her hair and pictured in a robe and slippers, or you may prefer a hunky-he-man instead of a pot-bellied, balding gentleman hawking a product. So, taking advantage of this motto, the record labels and specifically, album cover art, used this phenomenon to sell records. The labels released all kinds of music and 'blue' comedy records with one thing in common, nudity and plenty of it. It all began in the late 40's when album cover designers and the marketing departments for various record labels conjured up a plan to sell records by adorning the album covers with nude or scantily clad women. Another slippery gimmick was to make a play on the title of the record, a visual pun that allowed the erotica to slip in subtly and unnoticed. For instance, on an album by Hugo Winterhalter (RCA Victor LPM-1904) called "Wish You Were Here," the cover depicts a beautiful woman seemingly stranded on a desert island with only a telescope and her ripped and cleverly revealing nightgown. Beside her, in a cartoon caption cloud, she is stating the name of the album. And, yes, this worked, the album sold very well and it is still cherished by record collectors to this day. In post-war America in the 1950's, stripping as a form of adult entertainment was in vogue, with some women becoming minor celebrities. Why even American idol Joe DiMaggio had a well-documented affair with a hooker. Sex was selling magazines, posters, calendars and everything else in between. And jumping on this bandwagon, record companies rose to the occasion by releasing hordes of "Music to Strip By" records. Cinema and magazines soon jumped in with big and low budget films and the success of the adult magazine 'Playboy' helped pave the way for an increase in the use of 'naked vinyl' record covers. In fact, famous Playboy models like June Blair, Dawn Richard and Jayne Mansfield were featured on record album covers. Playboy even released a few records now and then, such as 1958's "Playboy Jazz-All Stars LP." In the same year the magazine featured a pictorial montage about erotic album cover art, even using the headline "Music To Make Your Eyeballs Pop." Playboy documented that the record companies were utilizing a discovery that was made popular by the paperback and romance book publishers-that nudity on the covers sells. But the 'naked vinyl' and erotica vinyl cover phenomenon was just getting started. The 1960's brought the public 'stag party' records, sex-obsessed vinyl covers that not only featured risqué music and lyrics, but 'live' blue comedy as well. Kind of like sports cards for adults, these 'stag party' records were highly sought after and collectible. Yes, the public was snatching up these raunchy and 'blue' comedy records and two record labels on the West Coast in particular took full advantage of the opportunity to cash in on the trend. It became an excuse to release as much crass comedy and trashy sex songs as they could. Based in L.A., Fax Records was one of the most prolific labels, and had four distinct 'sex genres' that they focused on. They, of course, capitalized on the 'stag party' themed records, but also included a 'personality' series, a special 'erotica 'series as well as a 'themes and scenes motion picture set' series. These records were all about sex, in many forms, and were both educational and entertaining. The second West Coast record label, LAFF records, focused on the American Nightclub Comedy Circuit and promoted their releases by quipping "Recorded at the scene of the applause, on the stage, or at an intimate party, the live and living heart-tugging, button-busting laughter of America's funniest comic personalities; on LAFF Records just for you!! Have a Party, Have a LAFF!" And LAFF backed up their claims with coarse and crude comedy records including a record called "Tales You'd Never Tell Your Mother," from raunchy comedian Kenny Carol. A country comedian, Sam Nichols' (Cowboy Sam-The Old Cowhand From The Rio Grande) slow southern drawl was a perfect medium for his crass comedy; including a country comedy song called "Courtin' on a Mule." Other "naked cover" comedians included the lascivious Rex Benson, the 'blue' comedy of Bub Thomas, the stand-up dirt of Bert Henry and many, many more. But the coarse comedy was not limited to the men. Faye Richmond, Madame Mame, Terri "Cupcake" O'Mason and many others were all successful entertainers in their own right. All these records invited the public into the intimate world that was popularized by the rich, famous and sexually successful, embellishing "You Are There" or "Rubbing Shoulders With Hollywood Greats." In part two of our look into 'naked vinyl' we will explore a couple of East Coast record labels and look at some other albums that have caused a stir because of nudity. About the Author Author Robert Benson writes about rock/pop music, vinyl record collecting and operates http://www.collectingvinylrecords.com , where you can pick up a copy of his ebook called "The Fascinating Hobby Of Vinyl Record Collecting." Contact Robert at robert@collectingvinylrecords.com

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Ten Ways To Nail Your Next Medical Procedure And Hammer Down Pain

Report for the procedure wearing clean underwear and trying hard to appear cool. Fasting is such a nasty business. Strip down. Suit up. Did she say this clown-gown ties in the front or the back? It’s a joke to call this faded elephant bib a “gown.” When did all my spider veins join up to become a Brooklyn street map!?

“Follow me, please.” I feel as if I’m six and being led to the principal’s office.  Turn right, then left, through these double doors, a right and another left. I will never find my clothes again. Enter Room B. where masked men hover and mumble in tongues. . . Greek, Latin, Klingon? Not one of them can be a day over 16. Shudda gone to the bathroom. “Remove your glasses, please.” So now I’m shivering, starving, cranky and blind.

I have skillfully (yes, brilliantly on occasion) sailed the treacherous shoals of the corporate world without so much as breaking a sweat, but then I wasn’t wearing paper slippers, a dust-rag dress and absolutely no underwear. Can caffeine withdrawal cause permanent brain damage?

Sit down/stand up/roll over/shoulders back/chest out/don’t breathe or move/drink all this down at once/this will only hurt a bit/try to hold it in till you get to the bathroom. Woops. What is this! Obedience school? How did I end up in a Gary Larsen cartoon?

It is well within your power to complete every medical challenge successfully and gracefully.

Rehearse

Once the details of a procedure have been explained to you, set aside time to prepare. Think through the procedure several times (in as much detail as possible) as if you were watching a movie. Keep it simple. You don’t have to administer this procedure. You simply have to endure it. Picture the desired outcome. As you watch your mind-movie, keep your eyes closed, your body completely relaxed and (most important) your breathing deep, slow and steady. A couple repetitions will usually do the trick. When it is time for the actual test, commit to this same slow-paced breathing.

Relax

Mental and physical tension creates and magnifies discomfort. If the procedure brings on brief and unavoidable pain, relax into it. Breathe into it rather than fighting against it. Tension sets up a vicious cycle: the more it hurts, the tighter you get and the tighter you get, the more it hurts. Break this cycle by keeping your muscles relaxed and your breathing steady.

Remember

The medical staff works for you. All their attention is focused on completing your procedure perfectly the very first time. Their preoccupation may make you feel invisible and insignificant but it is difficult for them to do their best job and be warm and fuzzy at the same time. This is not the time to engage them in conversation about how insensitive your mother-in-law was about the turkey stuffing.

Know that even the most sophisticated and experienced adults (yes, doctors, nurses and SWAT cops) feel vulnerable under these circumstances. Apprehension about test results and loss of control can make anyone feel like a private in boot camp instead of a general. This is not boot camp and you are still the general in charge of your own mind and body.

Research

Do your homework. Don’t be shy about discussing with your doctor the details of your test, your condition and how to interpret the results. There are wonderful medical reference books and online sites that explain your procedure in detail so you will know in advance exactly what to expect.

If you don’t own a computer, go to the library and use the computer there. A patient, experienced, understanding librarian will assist if you need guidance. Online sites are rich with valuable information that can ease your concerns. However, online medical sites do not grant you a medical degree but do help you become a wiser patient. You will find clear answers to logical questions. Why and how is this test performed? What should I do to prepare and what follow-up information should I expect? Are there questions I should bring up to the doctor or nurse? What are the risks? How will the test feel?  Take the mystery out of the situation.

Rein in your imagination

Don’t bite off more than you can chew. “My cousin’s neighbor’s son-in-law’s boss had this exact same procedure and he dropped dead as a doornail within the hour. DEAD!”  This kind of creative fiction is rarely accurate and is always counterproductive. Stay focused on what is necessary to get you through the next five minutes.

Record

Prepare in advance a concise and detailed list of your allergies, your current medications, and the symptoms that led to this procedure. Don’t assume that the technicians will have an up-to-date list or that your memory will be reliable.

Rejoice

You have easy access to medical tests, procedures and shared information that doctors in other countries can only dream about. Unlike your parents and grandparents you have the opportunity to find a problem while it is still small instead of simply waiting for the dreaded symptoms. You have access to techniques and equipment that will almost always put the odds in your favor. Best of all, you are born into an era when prevention is as important as treatment. You are part of a new generation of doctors who have been trained to include the patient as a valued part of the medical team.

Request

Request a printed detailed copy of all test results. There is always a minute-by-minute log describing your surgery and most lab reports come with a definition of each test and the normal range for each. Order your own copies of important X-rays. Label medical files carefully. Inform your family where the files are kept.

Reward

Set a land speed record for the nearest giant cheeseburger and double latte. Back to your former glory – worldly, confident, and wearing underwear.

Revenge

Vow to correct everything possible in your life that could have led to the need for this concern. Always schedule an annual checkup and never avoid a procedure that could improve or even save your life.

About the Author

Diane Neuman founded The Yoga Workshop in San Francisco where for 11 years where she taught students of all ages and backgrounds. Neuman wrote and illustrated HOW TO GET THE DRAGONS OUT OF YOUR TEMPLE (Celestial Arts). Currently Neuman writes and illustrates a health blog that draws on her 50 years of study and teaching yoga, advanced breathing techniques, stress management and relaxation exercises. To find her blog and learn a new breathing lesson every week, check into Breathing Deep Exercises